Friday, 22 June 2012

Old Wives get it right -

- again!

When my mum died, thirty-four years ago this month, her home was
 packed up by Pickfords and everything - including the coal box below -
was shipped across the country to us.

Today it sits next to our coal-effect gas fire, still
full of the nutty slack my mum dug out of the
coal house all those years ago.

You're probably thinking I'm 'Nutty Slack' for keeping coal
 that we don't need and can't use for more than a third of a century.
 But that would be the short-sighted view

'Some day,' I thought, 'that coal will come in handy'
And I was right. Today, this little heap of dirt is our pension plan.
The idea was sparked by a little flurry on Facebook -
someone had discovered the amazing regenerating
power of a lump of coal on a limp lettuce -

and, suddenly, baby-boomers were remembering how their
mums revived a tired old butterball lettuce by putting it
 in cold water with a small piece of washed coal and - voila!
 - an hour or so later it emerged as crisp, fresh leaves.


Dragons' Den - here we come!

Our plan is to break the coal up into 1-inch cubes and
sell it to the public as the Next New Thing. 

With a bit of careful wording we could
have every pensioner in Britain sitting in a
lukewarm bath with a cleverly-marketed cube
of nutty slack working its magic on their tired old bones.

Today Britain - tomorrow the world!

Order now - stocks are limited...



Candys Home Patch said...


Lizzie P said...

Thanks, Candy -a bit of fun re the pensioners but the coal really works on the lettuce. Mind you, I haven't tried it in the bath - yet!

Connie said...

Hi Lizzie, I love your wit. I thought you had a way of turning them into diamonds.
Thanks for popping in and thinking my water bottle bags, were a great idea. I think my granddaughters will like them. I'll be seeing them next week. Have a lovely weekend. Connie :)

The Pin Factory said...

Ha hah I am laughing so much Lizzie this is so the kinda scheme I would expect from you and Al (as I have a feeling that Al had some input into this multi million pound idea as well your lovely self!) Fantastic will it work on my pile of ironing?????? :-) xxx

Lizzie P said...

Not sure your boys would appreciate crispy clothes!!!!

Karen said...

Fabulous post Lizzie!!!!!

Jill M Hodgson said...

That brings back such happy memories.... the little lump of coal in with the lettuce leaves in the washing up bowl. You and Alan are the only people I've known do that but I can attest to it working!

Lizzie P said...

wish we were all together waiting for that lettuce to crisp right now! T'kettle's on, Pet!